How Parents Can Support Struggling Students with Heart, Hope, and Practical Help
By Lisa Elliott Schumacher LPC, CPCS, M.Div.
As summer winds down, many parents find themselves torn—lamenting the lazy days of sunshine while secretly craving the structure that comes with back-to-school routines. But while some children eagerly await new clothes, familiar friends, and academic challenges, others face the school year with dread.
If your child falls into that second group, the one battling anxiety, bullying, learning differences, or chronic health challenges, this article is for you. And if you’re the parent feeling isolated, uncertain, or even helpless watching your child struggle, know this: you’re not alone, and there are steps you can take to ease the transition.
Let’s explore some practical strategies—rooted in empathy and experience—that can make a big difference for your student this year.
Make a Self-Care Plan—for You
You already buy school supplies and plan lunchboxes. But have you considered what you need to function well this school year?
Ask yourself:
- What caused me the most stress last year?
- What one thing could make mornings or evenings easier?
- Who could help lighten the load, even once a week?
Maybe it’s more organization. Maybe it’s outsourcing tutoring or planning simpler meals.
Investing in your own well-being isn’t selfish—it’s foundational.
Validate, Don’t Minimize
Pain, especially emotional pain, becomes heavier when it’s dismissed. If your child is suffering—socially, academically, or emotionally—your belief in them matters deeply.
Look them in the eye. Listen without interrupting. Offer a hug. Say things like: “I can see this is really hard for you,” and “Thank you for telling me. I’m here with you.”
Even when no solution is available, presence and validation provide powerful healing.
Help Them Imagine a Better Future
For a struggling student, especially in middle or high school, it can feel like life will always be this way. That hopelessness can weigh them down.
Share your own tough school experiences—carefully, and without hijacking the conversation.
Let them know that even though things feel overwhelming now, better days are possible. For creative kids, invite them to write or draw a future vision of their happiest self.
Hope is a lifeline. Hand it to them often.
Consider a 504 Plan
Many parents know about IEPs (Individualized Education Programs), but fewer know about 504 plans. These plans allow children with physical or mental health conditions—like asthma, diabetes, anxiety, PTSD, POTS, or others—to receive classroom accommodations without being placed in special education.
Examples include:
- Extra time on assignments
- Access to a quiet testing area
- Modified attendance expectations for health reasons
Talk to your child’s doctor and school to see if this might help your student stay engaged and supported.
Build Daily Family Rituals
Kids need to feel they belong—and if peer groups aren’t offering that, family can be their emotional anchor.
Try creating small daily rituals, such as:
- Morning snuggles and cartoons
- A quick breakfast chat over juice or coffee
- A five-minute dance party or walk to burn anxious energy
- Evening “highs and lows” conversations
- Short stories or prayers before bed
These rituals don’t need to be long or elaborate. Just consistent and loving.
Find Allies at School
One caring adult or peer can shift a child’s whole school experience.
Reach out to:
- The school counselor
- Teachers your child connects with
- Club sponsors or coaches
Ask if seating can be adjusted or if your child can join a group that aligns with their interests. These small social shifts often lead to stronger connections—and fewer feelings of isolation.
Explore Calming Tools and Comfort Objects
Sometimes, kids just need a reminder that they’re not alone.
Consider comfort tools like:
- A photo of the family pet tucked into a notebook
- A small textured object in their pocket
- A favorite pen or fidget tool (if allowed)
These little things help ground your child when emotions run high.
Let’s Do This—Together
Every family, and every child, is different. Sit down together and create a support strategy that works for you. Involve your child in the conversation. Empower them to be part of the plan.
The goal isn’t perfection—it’s connection. And when we lead with compassion and intention, even the most difficult school year can hold space for growth, resilience, and little victories.
So here’s to you, parent of the struggling student. May this year bring more calm, more connection, and more hope than the last.
Life By Design Counseling
Lisa is a Licensed Professional Counselor (LPC), a Monroe County resident, and a mental health practitioner located in Bolingbroke who is passionate about helping others find healing, live fully, and to live holistically healthy lives, body, soul, and spirit.
She believes life is meant to be lived by design, not by chance, and she aspires to help others live by design, wholly, fully, and vibrant. The sharing of these thoughts is in no way therapy or a substitute for therapy.
If you are in crisis right now…Call or Text 988 or visit 988lifeline.org. If you are having a medical emergency, a safety emergency requiring law enforcement, EMS, or experiencing a fire emergency: DIAL 911.
